A child, the heart meditation and a happy mother
‘I took my time to watch my youngest daughter (3 years old) and really, it was not my wishful thinking. She requires the heart meditation every evening before going to sleep.
It has been over a month now since I have learned the Heart meditation and offered it to my family. After I introduced the heart meditation to my 3 children, they immediately knew the formula -I am connecting with my heart…-by heart and wanted to use it every evening. Of course I have no scientific proof for it, but it seems to me that they have been healthier – stronger and quicker in fighting the usual autumn colds – and even more relaxed and joyful in their every day lives.
It is SO beautiful, touching and cute to hear even the little one describing the place, where she feels good and safe and then, after a while, telling me,” I think I a going to put my hands down now and I am going to sleep.” And almost every night she sleeps like a log.
I cannot even begin to tell you how wonderful it is for me as a devoted mum to be able to share something as precious as your teaching – the heart meditations- with my beloved children.
Every evening I have the priceless chance to whisper to them about the Calm, Quiet, Love, Light, Eternity….
Magda –a happy mother and school director
I would like to tell at this point a personal experience of my own school days showing the power of love can have on ones learning capacities and even the psychological environment,- and this is also the outcome of several studies, so my testimony is just highlighting the positive effects what can happen to thousands of children. The experience I had was for a long time an enigma for me but on the here described background of scientific data and projects with school and college students fully understandable.
I was kind of an average student at a gymnasium for natural science in Germany, I was one of the 12 elite ‘survivors’, from 45 students who started in Sexta -the 5th class-, who did not had to repeat a class… It was a constant 9 years of struggle, anxieties, judgments by teachers and students to become part of the ‘elite’ afterwards.
(That tells a lot about the school system such and makes me understand the high dropout rates and anxiety and low self-esteem feelings of many students.)
We had in the subject German and upcoming test of declination and conjugation of the whole sentence. The teacher predicted me in front of everybody a five- a nice gesture in itself- which was basically saying you’re low end, not intelligent enough, stupid. If you had a five in two subjects at the end of the year one had to repeat the whole school year again.
Now the teacher made the prediction without knowing that I was in love… and I really was love ‘over both ears’ as we say in the German language, one of the first times at the tender age of 16.
The test included of one phrase with 25 words, and we had to write all the declination and conjugations of each word, sometimes up to five different classifications for each word. There was no way to cheat; it would have been obvious immediately.
To make the story short: I passed the test and I had a ‘one’, the best note. Only one other in our class, our genius had also one. For once I had the genius status. Now that changed the whole perception others had of me, teacher and fellow students. The teacher praised me highly, we had them also another subject. I know that he also talked to other teachers about it. I had his compassionate regards even two years later at the final exams in geography with him. My classmates also saw me different now. I was more accepted being part now of ‘the genius club’… not maybe always good, but having the capacity. Part of the psychological bullying, which I experienced before regularly stopped greatly. It helped me immensely to go through the last two years of gymnasium and all the nearly never ending exams.
Actually I guess the most surprised was maybe myself. The whole test was at that time like a kids puzzle game, – without the normal kind of anxiety since I was in love… and my true intelligence could come out.
It also is showing me that there was something more inside of me as in many other young souls, something about the power of love.
Years later I read about Larry Dossey’s research in which was scientifically proven that the positive views others have on you has even a the positive influence on your IQ.
I would like to add that while writing this positive personal anecdote about love and intelligence I shed tears, -tears of the psychological hardship- ‘surviving’ psychologically a in German gymnasium for nine years which were never expressed, -knowing that similar and worse happenes daily to many, many young children and students.
Résumé and outlook
The pressure, bullying, injustice, outdated curriculum in many schools and colleges poisons the life of so many young and capable children and young people.
It has to change, and it’s possible. There is enough scientific data, outcome studies and already implemented projects out there which show overwhelmingly what can and needs to be done.
The examples described and the outcome studies already realized show the possibilities.
If we add to heart coherence exercises and meditations the teaching for example bodymind intelligence competences and exercises, the positive outcomes could be immense.
From exogene to indogene.
What we described before was the analphabetism in our societies when it comes to the heart and that we are depended on more or less variable outside events, not on inner resources which allow us to recreate the space of inner alignment or coherence.
But heart coherence exercises and heart meditations which we describe in the following can do exactly this on a voluntary level and that is the so important difference. By sitting in a dark room we can produce exactly this space of inner contentment and bliss!
Meditation is a de – concentration we cannot force love, the divine since it is beyond the mind. Though we can create a right atmosphere so it can happen.
It took me a couple of years to bring together a heart coherence and heart meditation, which seems to me complete, since it includes all our senses,: the kinestetic, visual, auditive: the ; it can even include the sense of taste, smell and the 3rd eye.
I will describe it in the following also inner signs, doors which show us that we are on the right path.
Passing through different doors, -main techniques-addressing the 3 main senses until we come to a space of inner peace and contentment, total non doing..and out of this non doing ..
This is also the starting point to create synchronicity and use the higher intuitive intelligence with another person
How can we know that we are on the right path going the right direction towards the heart?
Here are some clear indications of what is happening inside when the inner the doors towards the heart are opening and one gets in a state of more and more heart coherence. To recognize these inner doors was a great help for me, since somehow my mind could relax, knowing that I’m on the right path.
They can be for example a few naturally occurring deeper breath, a starting to feel more at ease in the body and mind, feeling more at peace, releasing of tensions in the neck, shoulder and back, an overall relaxation, an inner calming down or the feeling of contentment, being more connected with the senses, feeling to be less in the mind, and still a thoughts are there, we might even have insights.
Again, all these perceptions give you an indication that you are on the right path, so you simply can relax be there and watch, because exactly this is what is needed.
From this moment on you can’t do the way to the heart, there needs to be a let go of the mind so the heart can do the job that a shift in consciousness can happen.
It is a like the host who invites his guest: once the work is done,-and you opened the three the main doors by technique you just need to relax and watch.
The different steps of heart meditation and heart coherence
Take a few deep breaths -at least 10- and stretch your body; if necessary, do some shaking to release tensions, so you can sit relaxed for a while. Very important: relax the jaws, move them make faces…
Then really take the time to feel your body, make a scan, connect with each part, breath in feel in…
The magic phrase: I am connecting with my heart, even if I don’t know exactly how and I take two or three deep breath in the chest, into your heart. This helps to open up the auditive and kinesthetic channel at the same time.
The first door: kinesthetic contact. I’m taking a few more breath in my chest, focusing on the heart area, and if appropriate for the situation hold my hands on my heart. Take time to feel your hands, the warmth of your hands on your heart. Breathe into them. Take 2 minutes to feel and to connect.
The second visual door: take any picture or past experience, you feel can be helpful for this. For example, think of your secret garden way you feel so good that your heart opens just by being there. Maybe, at this point you given a smile or a breath comes by itself. You might think at this special situation in your life where you were really happy, maybe in the arms of your beloved a sunset or an exam you passed in full confidence. Stay with it as a multilevel sensory experience. Stay with it for 3 to 5 min.
The third: the auditory door: you might just think the word happiness or peace, and the smile might come to your face; there might be a beautiful music you can think of and hear inside; it might be listening to the sounds and the silence around, sometimes it’s even just the humming of the fridge; you might perceive at that point that you hear more clearer, and not feeling this though by certain sounds, staying centered inside.
You might feel at this point already some of the other signs we talked about, some doors and opened already naturally. After opening these three doors by visualizing, listening and feeling there’s nothing more you can do then being watchful, just allowing the doors to open. Sometimes, with an image or memory comes also the sense of smell or taste, which might help tool for the doorway to the heart… The mind is calming even more down, you breath deepening moral and a relaxed, refreshing presence a and being alert at the same time. It’s like being the hosts which awaits his guest. The heart comes in on its own accord.
You feel more and more a calm, yet joyful presence…. nothing to do and nowhere to go …enjoying this moment, feeling the perfection of it. Realizing at the same moment. For example, you. How close we are to this date. And yet how we are often so far away from it.
Possible disturbances: you feel you still too much in your mind, preoccupied with projects were other things and; disturbed by noises around
The heart and science
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Letting come, letting go
In our lives we physically hold lots of things. A worker in a factory holds certain tools; a gardener holds a hoe; a tennis player holds a tennis racket. That’s all okay as long as we don’t strain our muscles and we know when to let go. The Lung and Large Intestine Meridians, which represent the Metal element, have the very basic function of taking in the life giving forces, holding them, and letting go of what is not needed any more.
On some occasions, life asks or demands that we hold on longer than we would like to. But often we hold on out of ambition or pride. We exercise or work longer to have a new car, a better sound system, a faster this, a greater that. The Lung and Large Intestine Meridians (in the psychic land of P’O) have also to do with taking in, and with possessing things.
“Unfortunately this natural behaviour is distorted and has expanded the realm of desires beyond our self felt needs.” ∗
∗The Joy of Feeling: Bodymind Acupressure, by Iona Marsaa Teeguarden, Japan Publications, Inc., Tokyo and New York, page 60.
When we neglect the messages of our body, we tend to develop physical problems. For a simple example, our muscles get tight. When we hold on too long, we may start feeling pain in the arms and shoulders, and the muscles may get swollen and hot. In extreme situations, we may get tendintis and bursitis. [See accompanying release example for elbow problems.] Lung and Large Intestine points on the arms may be very painful. Traditional associations of imbalance in these meridians also includes: cold limbs and hot palms, difficult breathing and chest congestion, excessive sweating, upper backaches, sore throat and tiredness.
Other situations in life demand another kind of holding on – for example, holding on to a job, a project, an idea or certain ideals. We can hold on too long to certain ideals and desires too long, just like we can hold on to certain tools for to long a stretch of time. We can hold on to a “tennis racket” too long, until we get a “tennis elbow.” ∗
We can hold on to a certain lifestyle or ideal until we are in debt, living in unforgiving separation, or suffering physically, like from tendonitis.
The real question is what keeps us “holding on” like this? To find the answer we have to look deeper into what our personality or ego is. Our personality, with all its conditioning and desires, is part of the collective consciousness and unconsciousness, which we “breathe” in through our parents, teachers, television, religion, etc. This varies depending on the different social and cultural climates in which we have grown up. Our personality is just the outer shell, but not that which we truly are. Part of becoming conscious is to realize exactly this. The balanced state of P’o, -of the Metal element- is openness and non-attachment. This begins with accepting the earthy quality of reality, including accepting our conditionings, attitudes and defenses as they are. It is an art not to reject them, but to face them and feel them. This acceptance brings self-respect, acknowledgment and empathy. It opens the door to that self which we truly are.
The problem is that our personal and collective ideals of how we should be are often in deep contrast to what our inner reality is. Let’s take a few examples.
We should be “happy” and “nice.” So when we feel sad or angry, we repress it. We should be “independent,” strong” and “cool,” so we hide our neediness, vulnerability and dependency. We often hide our strong sexual feelings, too, because as kids we learned they are “dirty” or animalistic. Our spontaneity and creativity might also have collided at home with the walls of our parents’ living room, or at school with the drill of memorizing facts – so as to become controlled and usable members of the working force. The new age generation has its own brooding climate for conditioning, with ideals like being “open,” “meditative,” “understanding” or “unconditional.” So we learn to hide being worried, closed or just “pissed.” We suppress feelings like jealousy or bitterness, with the ideals of “acceptance,” “compassion” or “being loving.”
If we hold on to the ideals and we don’t allow reality as it is, then we might feel “stuck,” “paralyzed,” “numb,” “spaced out,” “tired,” “dead” or “anxious.” Or we might simply become sick. Because of the emotional repression, we become judgmental and sarcastic, blaming and condemning others as well as ourselves. We fight inside and outside. Through rationalizing we might feel “above it,” but in reality the black holes of our psyche are widening – leaving our inner child, with its feelings and longings, starving. I think that one of the biggest illusions we can have is to think that we are already open-minded, conscious and accepting.
Yet, acceptance is the key. This doesn’t mean “taking on stoical attitudes or emotional restraint,” but rather accepting our ego and our desires, ideals and attachments. “In other words it begins with traveling through – not skirting around – the aspect of the psyche called P’o.” An accepting awareness is the first practical step in the alchemy of transformation.
∗The Joy of Feeling: Bodymind Acupressure, by Iona Marsaa Teeguarden, Japan Publications, Inc., Tokyo and New York, page 69.
Listening to body functions and responses helps us make a real energy shift toward openness. Sometimes we simply need to stop, sit down, feel in our bellies, feel the restrictions in our chest, take the space to breathe, trust spontaneous body movements, and finding different ways to let the “lid off” and expose the hurt feelings, so we can forgive ourselves and others. Through accepting and allowing hurt feelings – like the grief, sorrow and anxiety which relate to P’o – we can feel “reborn” and open again. This energetic movement liberates Shen and brings us in contact with our real needs, so that we can be who we truly are. The mysterious powers of P’o bring back the preciousness of light – the light of consciousness, which is also the lightness of our body and being. As we know, light is the antidote to darkness. It is also the antidote to fear. The Taoists say: “If the breathing is light, the heart is light…The heart cannot be influenced directly. Therefore the breath energy is used as a handle…” ∗
∗Richard William translation, The Secret of the Golden Flower, 1931, 1962; Harcourt, Brace & World, Inc., N.Y., pg. 41.
The defense mechanisms usually involve unconscious restriction of breath, as well as the tightening of related muscles along the Lung and Large Intestine Meridians in the hands, arms, shoulders, neck, chest and belly. Just by touching these areas, we often get a pretty good impression of the energetical, physical and psychological state of a person. The following general treatment for arm problems and lung and large intestine meridian could be specifically adapted depending on the individual state and need of a person.